I'll sleep better

This from the "about us" section of the English online version of "People's Daily" in Beijing:

"People's Daily brings you the latest news dispatches of policy
information and resolutions of the Chinese Government and major
domestic news and international news releases from China. It reflects
the views of the Chinese people, expounds on justice and lambasts
various forms of malpractice."

You know, I feel better knowing that someone out there is expounding on justice, because in my opinion, there is just too much silence out there on the topic of justice. And good for them for lambasting malpractice. It's even better that they make sure to practice equal-opportunity lambasting of various forms of malpractice. It would be a shame to focus one's lambasting on just a single sort of malpractice. I mean, really, what good is it to only lambaste, say, the dairy farmer who sells you sour milk when there are lawyers and mechanics and shopkeepers and doctors that are all equally deserving of lambasting? Where's the justice there, I ask you. Where indeed?

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In search of the king

I spent half a day on Sunday wandering in the woods picking mushrooms and now am feeling just a bit obsessed. The sun was shining in my office window this afternoon and what was I thinking? It would be cool to be lounging in the yard? I wish I could go for a long drive with the top down? Nope. I was thinking, "I bet if I could just spend a little time back in the trails I could find some more tasty mushrooms."

I found a small number of regular boletus on Sunday, enough for one meal with steak, along with a few other things that, after looking at the spore prints and the book, to be either poisonous or inedible. Alas, my most prized quarry, the king bolete, has thus far eluded me. These large 'shrooms resemble their cousins, with a reddish/tan cap and spongy-looking gills. But they are much larger and--here's the best part--don't bruise dark when you cut them. They are oh so tasty.

Now if I can just find a place where the dang things are growing, it would simply make my fall, especially since I've been out of the state for most of berry season.

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Hellfire and dumbnation

Here's an amusing exercise:

Let's see who can come up with the best euphamism, expression, metaphor or simile to describe utter stupidity. Hell, I'll even take plain old synonyms, made up or not. A colleague and I had great fun in just five minutes of brainstorming, so I'm sure that, with the eternity that the blogosphere offers, we can come up with some great ones. Now let's see, what did we come up with today...

Dumb as a box of rocks
Not the brightest bulb
Not the sharpest tool
Dipstick
Shallow pool
Sheeple

And, in honor of my love for mixing metaphors:
Can't see the forest for the fog of stupidity
or its variation
Can't see the forest for the tree that fell on his head

I'll add more as I think of them. Now come on people. Let's work together in the name of the dumb.

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It never goes away

It's election night. It's quarter to midnight. I actually know what percentage of precincts have reported results: 66.97 percent. I have the division of elections Web site in the background and have been refreshing it way more than is useful. I know exactly how I would be rewriting my lead to make deadline, because it doesn't look like results will be in on time. Phrases like, "as of midnight" and "was the apparent victor" come to mind. I'm reluctant to go to bed, because I really want to know now.

This is the second election since I left the paper, the first major one. And I do miss the excitement of election night, that and the fun at the Big I afterward. Don't think that will ever go away.

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Belated patriotic mourning

My 6-year-old daughter was questioning me this morning about my recent trip to D.C.

She asked me, "Did you see Washington?"

I said, "Yes, I went to Washington and saw some of the city."

"No," she said. "Did you see that guy. Washington."

I smiled, "You mean the monument?"

"No," she said, a bit frustrated. "Did you see him?"

"You mean the first president?" I asked. "He's dead, sweetie."

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" she exclaimed. "He's dead?"

"Yeah," I said. "He's been dead for more than 100 years."

Her response?

"Oh man."

Just goes to show the context of a 6-year-old's life. ;)

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But ... I was there.

Here's a really strange sensation:

I'm standing talking to my former spouse this evening and mention some not-so-lovely things that happened while we were married. He replies that they never happened. Now, I was there. He was there. We both know the stuff happened. Then how does someone look another person in the eye, knowing they know the truth, and say something like this? And better yet, what the heck is the appropriate response to such a thing? Probably leaving, I guess. Some folks just aren't in touch with reality.

And no, this isn't related to my former post.

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