Thursday, May 17, 2007

Goodbye cape

From a bumper sticker:
"I used to have superhuman powers, but my therapist took them away."

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Sunday, May 13, 2007

Exposed nerves

At times, the words and actions of those in the world around me resemble a sandblaster, capable of stripping even the thickest of skins.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Finger pointing in stereo

From a bumper sticker:

"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."

This is beautiful both for its literal meaning, chiefly that the buzzing bureaucrats of the world love nothing more than to parcel out blame to someone else, and for its use of passive voice, a favorite tool of those who wish to never take responsibility for any action, ever. Think "a decision was made ..." Who made that decision?

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Everyone needs a little Spanking!

This on the tag of a black neoprene zippered case from Japan, one about the size of a makeup bag:

Nomadic Inc.
You can find "it" up
completely at any time,
at any purpose
in your lifestyle.
That's something like."

Something. Yes. It is something.

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Thursday, May 03, 2007

A religious experience

Um. Yeah. Maybe not.

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It's a tragic day in the land of Onion, folks. A living legend of "representin' at the company picnic" fame, Herbert Kornfeld, has passed, a victim of senseless copier-related violence. Who will keep those beeyatchs in accounts payable at bay now? Who, I ask you?

Find the police report here.

In honor of his bad-ass self, I offer one of his signature works, the ever-inspiring piece "I Gots To Represent At Tha Muthafuckin' Company Picnic"

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