Sunday, March 29, 2009

Definition of insanity

Why are so many of us compelled to take action that almost guarantees we will not get what we want and need the most? I do it. I see people around me doing it too. It sometimes seems a wonder that we survive at all.

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Like bunnies

I am loving Wal Mart this holiday season. My friend and I stepped into the absurdly color-coded Easter aisle and found it impossible not to be immediately giddy. The experience was akin to the stereotypical acid trip. You find one fantastic thing and, just when you think it can't get any better, you find something even more bizarre.

My dad used to tell me that there isn't anything in nature that is both edible and blue. Apparently, that doesn't matter anymore:

Not interested in food the color of summer sky? How about a tasty nibble of traffic-cone bunny?

Still no good? Want something a bit more natural? It doesn't get more natural than green, green grass.

For those who prefer old-school, they offer this lovely twosome of white and milk chocolate. Is it just me, or do these bunnies look REALLY friendly?

And this? "Dude da bunny," complete with frosting bling. Watch out, or he'll bust a cap in your egg. And all that gangsta goodness for only $6.88.

Happy Easter!

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Saturday, March 07, 2009

Retail WTF?

Two things:

• Why in the world have they color-coded the Easter candy in Wal-Mart? I mean, really, are people really that anal retentive that they could not possibly have an Easter basket in which the yellow Peeps and the pink malted milk eggs coexist with the green jellybeans and the orange M&M's? Is this sort of like those color-themed Christmas trees? I'm troubled.

• What is this new display technique--I call it "pile of crap that might fall and crush your toes"--that the local grocery store has adopted? They use it with everything from cans of soup to potato chips to pepperoni sticks: these big square tables holding a pile of merchandise that leaves the shopper to approach at his or her own risk. What happened to nice, tidy stacks on end-caps?

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Social skills commentary from the expert

My 15-year-old son has diagnosed my "problem." Apparently, according to him, the reason I "have no friends" is that I have a tendency to jack up the country music and sing and dance in my living room while doing housework. Not quite sure how all those alleged people who refuse to be my friends know about said tendency, but apparently it is a serious social handicap.

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