Friday, June 01, 2007

All wholesome & stuff

I'm in an unnamed midwest city, a very large one, as evidenced in the very thick yellow pages. But here's the thing: I don't think this town has a single alternative business of any type. I looked. My fingers walked all over those robust yellow pages. I looked under "adult." Nothing. I looked under "pornography." Nothing. I looked under "bookstores, adult" and not only did I find nothing, the ratio of Christian bookstores to regular bookstores was, frankly, a little scary. Strip clubs. Nothing under than entry. Also nothing under "marital aids" or "gay"--or any iteration of the word. I know there must be places where people buy their porn and things that go buzz in the night. And c'mon, everybody likes a good drag show now and again. But I'll be damned if I know what the code words are to find these places in the yellow pages.

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4 comments:

Sara said...

Uh huh. So it's only a drag show you're looking for? :) Try looking for bars... it's the kind of thing I doubt you'll find in the Yellow Pages! Come on, doesn't Cornfed City have a "red light district"?

Anonymous said...

M,

There's plenty. They're all on the northwest side of town. mostly the sticky video booth type. Lots of strip clubs on the north side, too. I try to stay out of them when I'm in town, though. I keep running into girls I knew in high school.

I forgot to tell you to check out the Slippery Noodle Inn downtown for some good blues. Hope you found it on your own.

Love ya,
Dillon

MG said...

Yeah. Apparently I was looking at the least "alt" of the alt-weeklies I found on the curbside boxes. Further investigation at a box with a wider selection revealed the required assortment of "MWM seeks SWF for diapering on a casual basis" ads, along with those for strip clubs and 1-900-she-male sorts of things.

Whew! I was worried for a minute there.

Sara said...

Oh where, oh where has she gone?