I took actions today that I had prepared myself for, at least as much as one can prepare oneself for something so gut-wrenching. And when I took those steps I had practiced until they were rote, I did so with a calm that comes from such preparation. Still, as I sit here on the other side, perhaps the numbness is the most disconcerting of all. It seems like it should feel differently, like I should be doing something. It's odd, like someone grabbed ahold of reality and bent it slightly. I am conflicted. Perhaps practice isn't everything.
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