What is it about some women that seems to inspire devotion in men? Why is it that others, despite being intelligent, beautiful, talented, caring and successful, find continuously that their partners simply aren't willing to put up the slightest effort.
I have been rolling this one around in my head for a while, prompted by friends' comments over the years. And I suppose it ought to be more like a question than a statement, because this is far from an instruction manual.
I recall a conversation with a woman whose relative told her something to the effect of, "If he loves you, then he'll wait for you." Her response, born of a good number of years' experience: "No, that's just not true. Not for me."
Another woman I know speaks of relationships that have ended as if they are completely her fault. She says that perhaps if she had been a better girlfriend that he would have been willing to give more, that he would have been willing to try harder.
And then I look at my own experiences. Despite being married for eight years, I am under no illusions that my former husband was devoted to me in the slightest. Had I gotten sick or needed some extra effort to get through a rough time, he would have been gone in a flash. And to some degree, that's been the case with every relationship in my life.
Now lest my readers think I'm some sort of man-hating whack job, I can assure you I am not. And the central theme in this rambling stream of consciousness, or perhaps unconciousness, is that it must not be by sheer coincidence that some women seem to be Ms. Right and others are just Ms. Right Now. If the woman in the common denominator, it stands to reason it must be something she is or is not doing.
So what is it? How is it that you can take a group of women of various ages, professions, intelligence, physical beauty and personality and some will find that men with love them with passion and devotion. These men are smitten and they truly would do almost anything for these women they love. Others will find only lukewarm, at best, versions of the same qualities.
With no obvious common traits among the men or the women in each group, what is it?
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Tuesday, June 27, 2006
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1 comment:
My two cents...(man, you bring up deep topics! ;)
It's the men... truly, I think some men would be devoted to no one. Your ex is probably a good example of this. I think it has little to do with physical appearance, either. In my opinion, though it's simplifying a very complex topic, it is about two things:
1. The nature of the guy. Was his dad devoted to his mom? What was he taught about women? Is he a naturally loyal person? etc...
2. Whether the chemistry (or aligning of the planets, or whatever) and the timing were right between the two people... I think a lot of people marry people out of resignation, or boredom, or desperation, or loneliness, or convenience and not because of a truly good fit with the other person.
This is what I've observed, anyway, but I'm curious what other people think.
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