Good: “Hmm. I think I remember filling up the fuel tank about this time last year. I have used a good bit of wood this year, so I should be fine, but I had better go measure the tank. Good thing I thought about this. Better safe than sorry.”
Bad: “Nice, the fuel company screwed my cap on so tight, I can’t get it off to measure the tank. Strap wrench? Nope, too cold. It slides. Channel locks? Nope. Too small. Surely the pipe wrench will be big enough. Nope. Too small. And they want $25 for a wrench that might be big enough? Oh forget it. I’ll just call next week.”
Really Flippin’ Bad: “Time to turn up the heat. It’s 40 below outside. What the...? Nice. No fuel. It’s 7 p.m. Guess I’ll be getting up in the middle of the night to add more wood to the woodstove. It’s gonna be a chilly morning, for sure.
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Monday, January 08, 2007
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2 comments:
REALLY, REALLY FLIPPIN' BAD: Wow, it's -50 outside. What the ...? No fuel. OK, fine. I'll just light a little fire, maybe one-handed while I'm spraying the shit out of my five-inch waterfall bangs with this can of Aqua Net. OOPS! Dropped it! RUN!!! Dammit, I'm naked. Oh well, better that than burned to death. Burned happens faster than frozen, right? OK. I'm outside. Running into the woods. Who's this? Who's this dark man standing behind the tree? Can't see... I'll get just a bit closer. Oh, Richard Ramirez! Am I ever glad to see you!
Next time, you might try wetting the strap-wrench then putting it to work. A word to the wise: make sure you put it on right the first time. It sticks
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