A religious experience in the cheese aisle

A friend of mine, who really needs to blog, had a rather profound epiphany in the cheese aisle of the local grocery store the other day.

Now, apparently, she was innocently doing her shopping and passed safely by this guy, who was wearing a helmet and passing out bible fliers in a rather vigorous way. She watched this guy stop someone else and hand them one of those great leaflets, you know, the kind with dancing devils or some equally devilish sort rubbing his hands in glee as he leads someone down the path to eternal damnation. The man asked passers-by, in a very loud voice, whether they had accepted Je-sus as their personal savior.

My friend was about to roll her eyes, when that little voice inside her, you know the one we all have that often sounds like our mothers, said, "Come on, give the man a break. He probably truly believes he is ministering to the masses, doing the right thing, walking in the path of Jesus."

Then, like a beam of light from heaven, it struck her. That annoying guy probably was following in the path of Jesus. And if that is true, then ... Oh my God, Jesus was annoying. Jesus was one of those guys handing out Bible tracts in front of the grocery store. He was the guy who gives trick-or-treaters little pamphlets about the evils of Halloween, along with their candy. People probably rolled their eyes at him all the time. They probably pretended they weren't home when he knocked on their doors and went out of their way to avoid him in the open-air market. And you know, that's actually a pretty heartening thought, whether you believe the whole son-of-god thing or not. If I were to going to believe in a deity, I'd certainly like him or her to be just like the rest of us, which includes being annoying as hell sometimes.

Share on Facebook