Going with the flow?

Someone with far more expertise than I once told me that the only thing I need to know about water and sewer systems is that it all flows downhill. Nice. Simple. Calm. Direct.

That's a wonderful concept. Problem is: My water and sewer system, right around springtime, turns into a raving lunatic bitch or a demented toddler. Pick your metaphor, but I have had enough.

These days, my well emits a sound like sucking the last drop out of the bottom of a fast-food milkshake. That, of course, results in air in the water lines, which makes my aged copper pipes shake and my shower spit at me like a pissed-off alley cat.

And on the other side? It's a load of crap, literally. Some brilliant prior owner decided that a vented wastewater system is overrated. Usually it works fine. But not so much in the springtime. These days, the drains are slow and emptying the kitchen sink causes the toilet to bubble like a stew pot. And about that toilet: Flushing adequately is a matter of roulette. No rhyme, no reason. Sometimes it flushes. Sometimes it just swirls around and then ... nothing.

Once the ground thaws, all will reset to its normal balance, at least until the river rises and pushes the groundwater up through my well head and into the basement. Guess I better go check the sump pump.

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