I’m really starting to wonder if somebody upstairs is messing with my head, if perhaps he or she who rules the universe is perhaps engaging in one of those games where you try to connect a bunch of dots by only passing over each dot once. The result is a web where every dot is connected, but yet not.
Bear with me for a moment.
Now I live in a small town in a small state, so feeling like I know everyone and everyone knows me is a common thing. But lately, the connections have been sprouting up at an almost alarming rate and in the strangest of circumstances. If people are the dots on the page, it’s almost like each time I touch one of the dots, four or five new lines sprout out and connect to other dots.
At any rate, if I have any more strange coincidences, conversations with friends and acquaintances that begin, “Oh, I know so-and-so, we used to work together” or “Oh yeah, she’s the sister of my best friend’s mother” I think I may just come unhinged. This has happened, in one way or the other, on multiple occasions just in the last week. And each time it seems to be in a very odd context. It hasn’t been a pleasant, “Oh yay, another friend sort of thing” but rather an uncomfortable sort of context, a context that makes me uneasy and worry that the next connection could be one that makes my life very difficult.
Damn tangled web. Somebody needs to step on this spider
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Sunday, August 26, 2007
Friday, August 24, 2007
Why do volcanos erupt?
The Spoof, an online news satire site, has the following story that offers the real reason for Alaska's geologic unrest:
Volcano's pavlovian reaction to Corrupt Bastards Club furor
Anchorage, Alaska - (Armageddon Press): One of Alaska's most active volcanos appears to be having what scientists have described as an 'anthropomorphic pavlovian reaction' to the furor surrounding the Corrupt Bastards Club and is begining to blow its lid this weekend. Read the rest of the "story" here.
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Volcano's pavlovian reaction to Corrupt Bastards Club furor
Anchorage, Alaska - (Armageddon Press): One of Alaska's most active volcanos appears to be having what scientists have described as an 'anthropomorphic pavlovian reaction' to the furor surrounding the Corrupt Bastards Club and is begining to blow its lid this weekend. Read the rest of the "story" here.
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
No explanation required
Another police report item. Adding comment to this would just be like saying "there is air," but it reflects something pretty ugly.
Fairbanks police were called to the Rabinowitz Courthouse on Thursday on a report of a Middle Eastern looking man taking pictures of the building. The person was contacted by an officer and produced a Bulgarian passport. The man works at a local hotel and is in Fairbanks on a working vacation, he told the officer.
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Fairbanks police were called to the Rabinowitz Courthouse on Thursday on a report of a Middle Eastern looking man taking pictures of the building. The person was contacted by an officer and produced a Bulgarian passport. The man works at a local hotel and is in Fairbanks on a working vacation, he told the officer.
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You put your weed in there
Here's a below-the-belt twist on the classic SNL skit with Rob Schneider, courtesy of our local police report:
A woman was arrested on suspicion of second-degree robbery early Saturday after she beat another woman at a party and stole her bottle of Vicodin. The 38-year-old suspect hid the pill bottle in an intimate place and jail guards had to retrieve it via a strip search.
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A woman was arrested on suspicion of second-degree robbery early Saturday after she beat another woman at a party and stole her bottle of Vicodin. The 38-year-old suspect hid the pill bottle in an intimate place and jail guards had to retrieve it via a strip search.
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Monday, August 20, 2007
I crack me up
I tend to mix metaphors. I'll start talking about the sands of time blowing over
stormy seas and all we'll have is mud.
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stormy seas and all we'll have is mud.
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Sunday, August 12, 2007
Too careful?
In my years as a journalist and an avid watcher of current events, I have witnesses the beauty of the human spirit. I have also seen us at our worst. I have spoken to killers and have listened to child molesters. I have seen people lie and cheat and exploit their friends and family members in order to get what they want. I have watched families go through unbearable pain and heard many of them utter the words, “if only.” If only we would have been more careful. If only we would have checked things out more completely. To say that journalism can leave one skeptical would be an understatement.
However, someone held a mirror to me this afternoon and it made me a little sad because that skepticism is also part of my personal life now. I never want to be that person saying, “if only,” and I do what I can to avoid that scenario. I check out new people that come into my life, especially if I know they will have contact with my children or if they will be someone I may spend a great deal of time with. It’s nothing intrusive, just a quick courthouse records check and a run through a couple of search engines and databases. Still, I suspect that most of the world doesn’t do it. Despite the fact that our sense of privacy is a bit of a fallacy, in my opinion, people don’t like the idea of big brother or their friends checking up on them. It comes across as a little creepy.
Today, I told someone I checked them out, and it bothered this person, hurt them a little, I suspect. And this is someone who I absolutely do not want to hurt. This person wondered why I would trust so little, why I would be unable to take what they say at face value and evaluate their character on my own, without the aid of my search engines. And I didn’t have a good answer for that, other than I have seen the worst and want to be careful. It sounds pragmatic on paper, and it is. But interpersonal relationships are often not built on the practical. They are not business deals. And when you’re speaking to someone, and they say, with a tinge of anger or sadness in their voice, “Have I not been honest with you? Why don’t you trust what I tell you?” it’s difficult to say anything but, “I apologize.”
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However, someone held a mirror to me this afternoon and it made me a little sad because that skepticism is also part of my personal life now. I never want to be that person saying, “if only,” and I do what I can to avoid that scenario. I check out new people that come into my life, especially if I know they will have contact with my children or if they will be someone I may spend a great deal of time with. It’s nothing intrusive, just a quick courthouse records check and a run through a couple of search engines and databases. Still, I suspect that most of the world doesn’t do it. Despite the fact that our sense of privacy is a bit of a fallacy, in my opinion, people don’t like the idea of big brother or their friends checking up on them. It comes across as a little creepy.
Today, I told someone I checked them out, and it bothered this person, hurt them a little, I suspect. And this is someone who I absolutely do not want to hurt. This person wondered why I would trust so little, why I would be unable to take what they say at face value and evaluate their character on my own, without the aid of my search engines. And I didn’t have a good answer for that, other than I have seen the worst and want to be careful. It sounds pragmatic on paper, and it is. But interpersonal relationships are often not built on the practical. They are not business deals. And when you’re speaking to someone, and they say, with a tinge of anger or sadness in their voice, “Have I not been honest with you? Why don’t you trust what I tell you?” it’s difficult to say anything but, “I apologize.”
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Friday, August 10, 2007
Moral relativism
I'm feeling a little overcome with said relativism these days for a couple of reasons, but one in particular, and it scares me a little. I won't go into details, but it suffices to say that the situation is causing me some degree of pause. Throughout my life, I've always been sure of what is right and what is wrong. And my insticts always matched that morality, for the most part. Furthermore, I can recall moments in my life where I ignored those insticts and listened more to my brain and my logic, and that got me into trouble. My marriage was a prime example of that. From the very beginning, my instincts, in concert with my moral compass, were screaming, "Leave that one alone. Do not commit yourself to that." However, my brain and my logic, together with some external pressures, told me that it was what I was supposed to do, what I was expected to do. So I ignored the gut and went with logic. It cost me nine years of my life and did a great deal of damage to my psyche and those of my children.
Now I find myself in an incredibly odd situation. My instincts are telling me to do one thing, screaming at me that I need to go down this particular path. My brain and logic are saying "Bad idea." Seems an easy choice, yes? Go with your instincts, they are there for a reason. Except in this case, my instincts do not match at all with what I would consider the morally correct thing to do. This is perhaps the first time in my life that this has happened. So, what is the correct path? Does one ignore instincts at their own peril to follow the course that morality says is the correct one? Or does one follow those instincts at the risk of somehow compromising those morals?
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Now I find myself in an incredibly odd situation. My instincts are telling me to do one thing, screaming at me that I need to go down this particular path. My brain and logic are saying "Bad idea." Seems an easy choice, yes? Go with your instincts, they are there for a reason. Except in this case, my instincts do not match at all with what I would consider the morally correct thing to do. This is perhaps the first time in my life that this has happened. So, what is the correct path? Does one ignore instincts at their own peril to follow the course that morality says is the correct one? Or does one follow those instincts at the risk of somehow compromising those morals?
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Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Beware Flipper
This beyond-awesome headline from the Richmond Times-Dispatch:
Cute-looking dolphins can be pretty mean
Read the full story here. Quote in the third graf is pretty awesome too,
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Cute-looking dolphins can be pretty mean
Read the full story here. Quote in the third graf is pretty awesome too,
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Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Duck the sentimental landslide
Make a note of this, folks: Two weddings in as many weeks can cause unexplainable bouts of sighing to the accompaniment of country music, as well as periodic daydreams of cowboys/knights or other strong male figures on white horses galloping across windy prairies.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007
HR by me
Most employers offer sick leave. What about "sick of it" leave? I think we need special leave for those days when life, either work or personal, is too utterly irritating or miserable to allow any productivity.
If we were being honest, we'd say, "You know, I could sit here and do my best to get something done, but the reality is that my mind is really stewing about that stupid thing my husband did and the enormous altercation that will ensue at the first moment I see him, so any work I do will be, at best, substandard."
I can just see it in every employee handbook:
Sick-of-it leave: Every employee receives three sick-of-it leave days each year, to be used when an employee's mind cannot be focused on work due to the irritating actions of a family member, friend or significant other; a home improvement project that is impossibly out-of-control; or any other life event that is utterly FUBAR.
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If we were being honest, we'd say, "You know, I could sit here and do my best to get something done, but the reality is that my mind is really stewing about that stupid thing my husband did and the enormous altercation that will ensue at the first moment I see him, so any work I do will be, at best, substandard."
I can just see it in every employee handbook:
Sick-of-it leave: Every employee receives three sick-of-it leave days each year, to be used when an employee's mind cannot be focused on work due to the irritating actions of a family member, friend or significant other; a home improvement project that is impossibly out-of-control; or any other life event that is utterly FUBAR.
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Sunday, July 15, 2007
Who’s oppressing who
In the midst of a discussion about politics a few weeks ago, one of the participants, who is a self-proclaimed conservative, says something to the effect of, “ The Democratic ideologies are the reason that lower-income people continue to remain under the thumb of the aristocracy.”
This person was referring, of course, to the effect that social welfare programs, such as food stamps or housing assistance, has on the masses. I won’t argue that giving people everything they need to survive, and asking for no work in return, is a good thing. I agree that such things can tend to breed lack of motivation. Why work when you can do nothing and still survive? I would also point out that the causes of poverty in the United States are rooted in many things, some historical, some personal, some political. The cycle is far too complicated to explain or solve with a simple, “If we made them work, they would be more prosperous.”
It’s difficult to ignore the fact that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Most of us who live in the middle are not getting any closer to that dream of prosperity. Do a Google search to find out how the growth of CEO’s salaries compares to the growth of the average workers’. In some ways, I would say that the “American dream” of gaining riches through hard work is at best the exception rather than the rule. Lots of people work hard throughout their entire lives. They aren’t getting rich doing it.
The reason low-income people, at least those who work, remain poor, is because they are not paid a living wage by the leaders of these large companies, leaders who make more in a single year than 97 percent of us will make in a lifetime. Now they will say that the reason they must pay people so poorly is that consumers, including middle-class consumers, demand low prices for their goods. Fair enough. Except, I wonder, if theses CEOs and boards of directors allowed even half of their top salaries to trickle down to the middle-income-earning employees, would those employees still demand such low prices?
Capitalism and the free market are wonderful things. At the most basic level, they have the ability to let one person, one business owner, create prosperity for multiple others. This is why things like microloans make such a big difference in developing countries. That one startup business provides jobs, which provide money to spend at other businesses, which in turn can hire more employees. It’s an amazing and powerful thing.
However, like anything, it can be taken to extremes. I think perhaps that is what has happened in the United States. In many cases, the leaders of today’s largest employers are so far removed from the business, and its employees, that the wages they are paying people are little more than a ledger note. In a relatively small business, the owner can see, first hand, the effects of his or her decisions. Not giving people raises this year? You’ll hear in the hallways how employees won’t be able to buy as many school clothes or Christmas presents. It makes it hard to take a $2 million bonus at the end of the year, as payment for upping the profit margin, when you have to look in the eyes of those who gave up braces for their kids to get you there.
Why are lower-income people stuck where they are? Many reasons. But we cannot depend on the consciences of CEOs and boards of directors to somehow see the light and start paying people a living wage. It’s not that any of them are bad or uncaring people. It’s just that they are so far removed from those who are affected by their decisions. The eyes they look into every day are those of their most influential shareholders, not those of the night stocker making $8 an hour. They cannot be wholly blamed for ignoring something they cannot see. However, in such cases, it becomes the responsibility of a government of the people to take steps to show them what they cannot see. A living minimum wage is a good first step. A limit on compensation for the CEOs of publicly traded companies might be another. The wealth is not trickling down. Our market needs some assistance in order to work as it was intended.
I would contend that eliminating all social programs will not eliminate poverty. We have a better chance of doing so if we find a way to make a day’s work worth something more than simply being able to barely make it from paycheck to paycheck. If we want people to work hard for prosperity, we have to make that American dream something more than a symbol of some bygone reality. It has to be more than two words that our mouths say with idealistic fervor while our minds struggle to apply it to the world at hand.
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This person was referring, of course, to the effect that social welfare programs, such as food stamps or housing assistance, has on the masses. I won’t argue that giving people everything they need to survive, and asking for no work in return, is a good thing. I agree that such things can tend to breed lack of motivation. Why work when you can do nothing and still survive? I would also point out that the causes of poverty in the United States are rooted in many things, some historical, some personal, some political. The cycle is far too complicated to explain or solve with a simple, “If we made them work, they would be more prosperous.”
It’s difficult to ignore the fact that the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer. Most of us who live in the middle are not getting any closer to that dream of prosperity. Do a Google search to find out how the growth of CEO’s salaries compares to the growth of the average workers’. In some ways, I would say that the “American dream” of gaining riches through hard work is at best the exception rather than the rule. Lots of people work hard throughout their entire lives. They aren’t getting rich doing it.
The reason low-income people, at least those who work, remain poor, is because they are not paid a living wage by the leaders of these large companies, leaders who make more in a single year than 97 percent of us will make in a lifetime. Now they will say that the reason they must pay people so poorly is that consumers, including middle-class consumers, demand low prices for their goods. Fair enough. Except, I wonder, if theses CEOs and boards of directors allowed even half of their top salaries to trickle down to the middle-income-earning employees, would those employees still demand such low prices?
Capitalism and the free market are wonderful things. At the most basic level, they have the ability to let one person, one business owner, create prosperity for multiple others. This is why things like microloans make such a big difference in developing countries. That one startup business provides jobs, which provide money to spend at other businesses, which in turn can hire more employees. It’s an amazing and powerful thing.
However, like anything, it can be taken to extremes. I think perhaps that is what has happened in the United States. In many cases, the leaders of today’s largest employers are so far removed from the business, and its employees, that the wages they are paying people are little more than a ledger note. In a relatively small business, the owner can see, first hand, the effects of his or her decisions. Not giving people raises this year? You’ll hear in the hallways how employees won’t be able to buy as many school clothes or Christmas presents. It makes it hard to take a $2 million bonus at the end of the year, as payment for upping the profit margin, when you have to look in the eyes of those who gave up braces for their kids to get you there.
Why are lower-income people stuck where they are? Many reasons. But we cannot depend on the consciences of CEOs and boards of directors to somehow see the light and start paying people a living wage. It’s not that any of them are bad or uncaring people. It’s just that they are so far removed from those who are affected by their decisions. The eyes they look into every day are those of their most influential shareholders, not those of the night stocker making $8 an hour. They cannot be wholly blamed for ignoring something they cannot see. However, in such cases, it becomes the responsibility of a government of the people to take steps to show them what they cannot see. A living minimum wage is a good first step. A limit on compensation for the CEOs of publicly traded companies might be another. The wealth is not trickling down. Our market needs some assistance in order to work as it was intended.
I would contend that eliminating all social programs will not eliminate poverty. We have a better chance of doing so if we find a way to make a day’s work worth something more than simply being able to barely make it from paycheck to paycheck. If we want people to work hard for prosperity, we have to make that American dream something more than a symbol of some bygone reality. It has to be more than two words that our mouths say with idealistic fervor while our minds struggle to apply it to the world at hand.
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Friday, July 13, 2007
Monday, July 02, 2007
Rugged Alaska woman in training
Me: Dang it, my front signal light housing on the truck is broken. I'll have to order a new part,
My 7-year-old daughter (with authority): No Mom! Duct tape!
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My 7-year-old daughter (with authority): No Mom! Duct tape!
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Friday, June 29, 2007
A wonderful word
cockalorum n. - 1 a little man with an exaggerated idea of his own importance 2 boastful talk; crowing
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Friday, June 01, 2007
All wholesome & stuff
I'm in an unnamed midwest city, a very large one, as evidenced in the very thick yellow pages. But here's the thing: I don't think this town has a single alternative business of any type. I looked. My fingers walked all over those robust yellow pages. I looked under "adult." Nothing. I looked under "pornography." Nothing. I looked under "bookstores, adult" and not only did I find nothing, the ratio of Christian bookstores to regular bookstores was, frankly, a little scary. Strip clubs. Nothing under than entry. Also nothing under "marital aids" or "gay"--or any iteration of the word. I know there must be places where people buy their porn and things that go buzz in the night. And c'mon, everybody likes a good drag show now and again. But I'll be damned if I know what the code words are to find these places in the yellow pages.
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Thursday, May 17, 2007
Goodbye cape
From a bumper sticker:
"I used to have superhuman powers, but my therapist took them away."
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"I used to have superhuman powers, but my therapist took them away."
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Sunday, May 13, 2007
Exposed nerves
At times, the words and actions of those in the world around me resemble a sandblaster, capable of stripping even the thickest of skins.
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Friday, May 11, 2007
Finger pointing in stereo
From a bumper sticker:
"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."
This is beautiful both for its literal meaning, chiefly that the buzzing bureaucrats of the world love nothing more than to parcel out blame to someone else, and for its use of passive voice, a favorite tool of those who wish to never take responsibility for any action, ever. Think "a decision was made ..." Who made that decision?
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"Errors have been made. Others will be blamed."
This is beautiful both for its literal meaning, chiefly that the buzzing bureaucrats of the world love nothing more than to parcel out blame to someone else, and for its use of passive voice, a favorite tool of those who wish to never take responsibility for any action, ever. Think "a decision was made ..." Who made that decision?
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Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Everyone needs a little Spanking!
This on the tag of a black neoprene zippered case from Japan, one about the size of a makeup bag:
"Spanking!
Size-Case
Nomadic Inc.
You can find "it" up
completely at any time,
at any purpose
in your lifestyle.
That's something like."
Something. Yes. It is something.
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Size-Case
Nomadic Inc.
You can find "it" up
completely at any time,
at any purpose
in your lifestyle.
That's something like."
Something. Yes. It is something.
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Thursday, May 03, 2007
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