Honey ... you’re fired.

Add this to the strange marketing hall of fame:

As the shopper walks down the aisle of Fred Meyer, she is drawn to the powder-blue cardboard display jutting into the aisle. “As seen on ‘The Apprentice’” the words on the side proudly and loudly proclaim. Being the well-trained consumer that she is, the shopper immediately starts to think, “Wow. That’s intriguing. I mean, it’s such a wonderful, if a little naughty, show. So entertaining. And think of the status I could achieve if I were to use the same product they use on this show. My friends would be so impressed.” Her heart skips a beat when she picks up the product from the display. There, on the label, is a teeny-tiny picture of “The Donald” on the label, looking all cutthroat businessman-like. “Oh man,” she thinks, “I could actually have the one and only Donald Trump staring at me in the kitchen. I don’t care what you say, you mean ol’ Rosie O’Donnell, that Mr. Trump is simply fantastic.”

That’s it, she’s hooked. Mission accomplished. Goodbye store-brand. You’re fired, FMV. She’s moved on.

From here on out, it’s Sue Bee honey in the 12-ounce squeeze bottle with a flip-top lid. As seen on “The Apprentice.”

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